I recently came across a post on social media that read, “I remember years ago I was crying in my car at a traffic light and the girl next to me saw and mouthed, ‘it’s gonna be okay’ and I still remember that to this day… “

This idea of the ripple effect has been on my mind lately.

Perhaps you remember throwing a pebble into a pond as a child and watching the concentric circles ripple outward, creating a much wider imprint on the water’s surface than the initial target of the pebble. I was always fascinated by this movement and would stand at the bank of the water throwing stones over and over, just to watch the mesmerizing movement that followed each toss. Never, did I tire of it, it captivated me, every single time.

As an adult, I’ve come to understand that our lives mirror this phenomenon. Even though I learned this lesson — that our actions toward others have a ripple effect, as a young child, to this day, I’m still haunted by an image involving the taunting of a girl who was bullied by my second-grade classmates. What started out with one mean comment rippled its way out as an everyday occurrence. Equally powerful in my memory is the generosity shown by an acquaintance in high school who regularly donated tzedakah (“charity”) to me when I was involved in my synagogue’s youth group. I’m not sure he ever knew the impact that his donations made.

Whether intentional or unintentional, our actions can affect many. As I have aged, I am now much more mindful about how

this ripple effect plays itself out in our daily lives.

The pebble being tossed into a pond — read: an action being put into the world — has further reaching repercussions that we might have imagined, for better or for worse.

Story #1: Last month we were visiting Denver and as my husband merged onto a major road, he checked his rearview mirror to observe the traffic flow. Noticing a large pickup truck coming up the left-hand lane, he expected the pickup truck to speed up and not allow him to merge; however, the driver did just the opposite, he slowed down, allowing us to merge into the oncoming traffic with ease (think the pebble tossed in the pond).

“Wow,” exclaimed Aryeh, “I didn’t expect that. What a courteous driver!”

“Yes, that was really kind” I agreed. Truth be told, I, too, was a bit shocked.

“You know what,” I continued, “if he would have cut you off, it would have pissed you off and then you would have carried that aggravation with you into the rest of the day and then gone ahead and probably pissed off more people because you were pissed off. But…because of this guy’s kindness, you’re feeling more generous and calmer and will bring that into your interactions with others today.”

How often do we not realize the impact our (seemingly insignificant)
actions have on others, I thought?

Story #2 I recently connected with a colleague with whom I had lost contact. As we messaged one another, I discovered that she was teaching a Jewish parenting class, and so I offered to make a last minute cameo appearance to do a little bit of teaching and to share about my parenting book. As I logged onto Zoom, there was one student who was there early. My friend introduced me to this young mom. When she heard my name, she inquired, “Did you write a parenting book?”

“Yes I did!” I replied.

“How funny, I’m reading it right now. I googled books on Jewish parenting and yours came up.”

“Wow, what a coincidence!”

I was truly startled, as this woman lived in rural Vermont.

Having a book published (another metaphorical toss into the pond) during a pandemic has been quite daunting. There have been many weeks and months that I have wondered, “Ok, so I put this book out into the Universe but where will it actually wind up? Ultimately, who will read it? Is it really worth all the effort? Maybe it’s time to stop investing so much time and energy into sharing the book?”

And then, these words from this young parent in rural Vermont who found my book — talk about a ripple effect!

I was amazed at how this last minute, fortuitous meeting unfolded.

I took my sign and thanked the Universe for letting me know that it’s not quite time to give up speaking about my parenting book.

These two recent stories got me thinking about how many of us have similar ripple effect stories? Either as givers or recipients. Have there been times in your life that you experienced a ripple effect, either in the moment or some time after? I’d love to hear about them; please hit respond to share them with me.

Wishing you a wonderful holiday season as we move into 2022. May we each be blessed to discover how much good we can do in the world, even if it might feel like we are merely throwing a pebble into a pond.